The Secret Deeds of Cookies
by canyouhearthepeoplesing
Summary: This is the story of Little Red Riding Hood with a backstory and a little twist to the plot and characters. It was part of an entertaining English assignment I had to do where we took a fairy tale and wrote in the style of an author. I chose Little Red Riding Hood and the author of The Secret Life of Bees, hence the parody of the title. Enjoy!


I'm not sure why any of us ever bothered since we all knew that Gran didn't like us one bit. Ever since Mama snuck off and got married to Pop without Gran's permission, Gran has kept her distance. And her distance is far since she lives way off in the woods. See, Gran didn't approve that Pop worked in a Library. She believed that all men should earn a living doing honest labor like chopping trees or paving streets. Thats' why she had favored Uncle Wolfy, so I've heard. Gran was on her last legs which meant in the next few days she would determine who to put in her will. The family had been doing all kinds of favors for her to get back on her good side. It was Mama's idea to make a batch of cookies and send it to her, and considering I was the youngest and most "spry," I had to deliver them.

I wasn't real keen on going since I'd never even met the woman. Mama said she once was nice and she showed me a picture of Gran and Gramps when they first got married. The did look like they were happy. Gran was wearing a white silken dress and was smiling up into Gramps' young face. He was wearing a traditional black suit but on his head sat a top hat. Its a funny thing that top hat. It doesn't seem like something that would look good on a person for their wedding, but on Gramps it suites him. I met Gramps only once before he passed. It was when I was four or five. I have a clear memory of sitting on our front lawn and playing with bugs. It was twilight so everything had that end of the day beauty to it. Sung glisten off the grass and the birds and the trees. I was just sitting there when all of the sudden there was a man standing over me. His head blocked out the sun and the only feature I could make out was his broad smile. He bent down in front of me and said, "This is for you." Then he placed a red cloak in my lap. I have worn it every day since.

In fact, I had decided to wear it on my trip to Gran's that day. I wasn't sure how well that would go over with Gran. I imagined all kinds of scenes of our first meeting. Most of them ended with her slamming the door in my face.

The route to Gran's wasn't too bad. Honestly I rather liked having all that time to think. I walked with the basket of cookies dangling by my side, listening to the birds chirp, and pondering the silly reasons people get mad at each other. By the time I reached her house (or should I say mansion) had a full fledged speech ready to make to her to convince her not to be mad at Mama and Pop anymore. I rang the door bell once and took a deep breath. When there was no answer I tightened my grip on the cookie basket and tried again. This time I heard something like a cough and then, "Come in darlin."

The fact that she didn't come to the door didn't bother me then. I figured she was old and that it had to have been hard for her to get up and down that three story house of hers. I pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside. The house was dark and silent. Without warning, a chill ran down my spine, but I called bravely, "Hello? Gran? Its me, your granddaughter. Louise's kid?" I stood still in the entryway waiting for a reply. At last it came.

"Oh honey, how lovely of you to visit. Come up stairs, I'm in my bedroom." The voice sounded high, strained and very southern. It almost sounded like a man pretending to be a woman, but I told myself to be nice and not to judge. She was my only grandmother after all. I took the stairs one at a time, and tried to relax. At the top of the stairs was a long hallway with five doors. Four of them were closed but one stood open and light poured out. The voice came from the open door and called again, "I'm in here dear."

I was surprised at how nice she sounded considering all I had heard about our family feud. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to convince her to put us in her will, I thought. I entered the room quietly so as not to disturb her, but what I saw took me by surprise. The room was large and well furnished. Paintings and what Mama called wall rugs decorated all four walls. In the very center of the room was a large queen sized bed, and in the bed was what seemed to be a person. However, only visible were two hands holding up the sheets.

"Gran?" I asked tentatively.

"Oh yes, its me dear. I just have a god awful flu I can't get rid of and I don't want to spread it to you." The figure behind the blanket gave a little cough and the blanket fluttered from from the breath.

"Do you want me to come another time?"

"Oh no!" it yelled and popped its head a little above the blankets. Now visible was a straw hat and two eyes. "What was it that you came to see me for?"

"Well..." I set the basket on the foot of the bed, "I know my family hasn't been on very good terms with you, but I wanted to end that today. I brought you these cookies as a peace offering. I was hoping you'd see that you really don't need to be angry at Mama and Pop any more."

"And I suppose your family wants to be in my will?" the voice from behind the blanket asked.

"Well..."

"Well I'm sorry to say that the matter has already closed. I sent the last draft of my will to my lawyer two days ago, and left all the money and estate to Uncle Wolfy."

"Oh." I stood there baffled. The eyes above the blanket narrowed at me. Gone was the nice persona the voice of earlier had given. "I guess I'll go then." I reached for the basket but as I did so, the edge of the sheet was pushed back just enough to show two hairy big toes. I looked up at the eyes and realized that above them were two bushy black eyebrows. I then glanced back at the hands and realized they too were hairier then any old woman hands I had ever seen. Full realization hit that moment that this could not possibly be my grandmother. I went around the side of the bed and ripped back the sheets. Then I screamed, because in front of me was a grown man who I had never seen before. I left the cookies and dashed out of the room as fast as I could. I bolted down the stairs with fear coursing through my body. I was so full of fear that I screamed again when I crashed into a woman at the bottom of the stairs. She held me tight until I calmed down enough to look up into her face. She was old and wore gold dangly earrings that matched a gold shawl around her arms. Her eyes were kind and they took in the sight of me with concern.

"Whats wrong? Whats happened?" she asked.

"Upstairs...a man..." I gasped. She let me go and marched up the stairs in a way that lacked fear and was full of authority. I knew she could only be my grandmother.

I stayed at the bottom of the stairs until she returned, dragging the man by the sleeve.

"This here is your Uncle Wolfy. What he is doing in my house frightening little girls I have no idea." she glared at the man. "But I do know this: Wolfy, you are out of my will." She then led him to the front door and shoved him out.

"Well," she said and clap-wiped her hands, "now that that is done with." She looked at me. "I'm assuming you are Louise's girl?"

"Yes ma'am." I answered.

She took a long look at the cloak I was wearing before she said, "I'm sorry I never got to meet you before. There was a little spat between your mother and I but I think that has passed. Why don't you come and sit down for a while. I'll make some tea."

And that was the day I met my real grandmother for the first time. She was not the mean old lady I had conjured up in my mind from years of stories. She was amazing and warm. I had succeeded in my quest to bring peace to the family, and I didn't even need the cookies.


End file.
